Body of water

There is this thin layer of water that makes the surface of a lake.

It is like a membrane, but not really.

It is made from water as well, but it feels like a border, like a line.

It is there in any water form. Substantially it is not different from the water itself and I am not sure if it is a thing or not, but it feels somehow important.

It separates air from water. It signifies one substance against another. It reminds me of how it feels to have a skin.

Whenever I have looked deeply to find myself, I always felt my skin is like this thin layer of water.

If there is no substance of the outer world - this final layer of my physicality would not exist.  It is marking what is my apparent inside and the outside field, that we call the world.

And crazy enough this is where pleasure and pain appear. As sensations, that go deep – further and further to the empty cavity of my inner self. A true heart is hollow and offering. In contrast all the sensations have shapes and they are there to dance.

The surface of the skin is so sensual.

I feel my skin. It is touching my clothes, the air is caressing it, there are subtle patches of tangling or numbness, my genitals and mouth are pulsating sweetly. I can feel it all. It is so gentle and yet it has the quality of a solid mass that holds me separate from the world.

It is apparent border and yet it is real.  It is where my existence as an individual self originates.

There is so much tension there. It is a surface of a lake. Intense and potent. Quiet and firm.

It is a crucial point. Through the mystery of desire, it happens that this surface of skin meets another.

It is a tricky thing – it is supposed to separate me and protect me, yet it is the only gateway to real connection, merging of substances, collision.

The skin of another is my skin in another form. Sometimes it feels so familiar, it makes me feel like I am expanding further away from my own center. Gravity collapses. The heart becomes the world. Empty and free.

And it is so exciting. It is altering the dimensions of my world. Everything becomes so broad. Like the sky is reflected in the water and finally they can have the taste of what it means to be each other, to be one, to have the same reference point with one another, frontiers overlapping.

It is so teasing, it is firing my insides, my inner warmth is rising, the mucous membrane of my cavities is blossoming with the anticipation for that merging. The craving to expand is huge.

And this thin, ambiguous line is being there. It will always be there in order this feeling of pleasure to exist. And that will unavoidably open the threshold of pain. The primal pain of the distance, of the impossibility of being truly one in form.